Attitude Shaping and Shifting: Appreciation Lists

What are your favorite things? Who are the people, places, experiences, and things you appreciate? There is no better way to reshape your perspective on life than to regularly sit down and list the things you value. Sometimes I do this on 3x5 cards at odd moments in a restaurant. Sometimes I use a 8 1/2 x 11 writing pad on the air plane. The discipline of committing these things to paper seems to have more impact on my attitude and outlook than just going over them in my mind. Maybe even put them in a media like our You Tube friend did.

There is a tendency in human nature to look for what’s missing. This is valuable also and that’s where our goals come from. But an excessive focus on what’s missing is a sure recipe for unhappiness. After a time of great loss it’s natural to obsess on what’s missing for a season. Don’t worry about that too much unless you get stuck there for a prolonged period. In those cases, counseling may be helpful to get you moving through the grief process.

Here is a partial list I wrote on a recent plane trip:

My Faith
Susy, my wife
My mom and dad
My 102 year old grandmother
My extended family of aunts, uncles, cousins, step children, and in-laws
My church family and pastor
My friendships all over the United States
USA… Is this a great country or what?
The company that employed me for 15 years
My boss for the last 8 years
Sammy, my Labrador Retriever
Starbucks…. Especially the Green Tea Frappacino and the ambiance
Our house
My library of books
Zip lining in Kauai
Barnes and Noble…. Borders… any bookstore…. New or used
USA Today
Maui Jim Sunglasses
Guacamole with Pico de Gallo
My morning coffee with flaxseed and flavored creamer
Fuggazi (Local Restaurant) especially the Tostada Pizza
California Pizza Kitchen …. Everything
Chipotle …. The burrito bowl
Hang gliding off Look Out Mountain
Pilot G2 Mini Pens
Moleskine for jotting down ideas
3x5 Cards
Movies with popcorn, candy, and soda
Black graphic tees
Zippered Hoodies
Roller Coasters
Flip Flops
Levi 504’s
Google
Blogger and writing
Nike Free Styles
Costco
Target
Almonds and Cranberries all mixed up
Nascar ride at 165 mph
Room and Board Home Furnishings
Business Animals… my stuffed animal collection of business mascots
Crème de mint Altoid Breath Fresheners
Dentyne Ice Chewing Gum
Blackberry
Indoor skydiving
Hampton Inns
Apple Store
Apple and Peanut Butter
Walking mainstreet… especially with Susy
Classic Rock
Lifestyle Fitness Center
PF Chang Lettuce Wraps
Barbeque
My Ipod

From a Servant Selling perspective you might also list your customers and clients. Consider making a list now of the people you have sold products or services to. You might also send them a note of appreciation letting them know how much you value them and their business.

Attitude Shaping and Shifting: Selective Television

Garbage In Garbage Out. I sometimes wonder how many dreams, marriages, healthy bodies etc… has been ruined by television. Still, there are some great television shows. Resist the temptation to watch television purely based on what you find entertaining. Move toward choices that will inspire you, increase your knowledge in important areas, and help make you more successful. I love sports of all kinds, but it is very easy to get drawn into spending excessive amounts of time watching other people pursue their goals and mission in life while important parts of your life go unattended. I would suggest a limit of one hour a day with rare exceptions.

Here are some choices I have found worthwhile. I don’t watch all the shows regularly, but I still find them valuable on occasion.

The Big Idea with Donny Deutsch (CNBC) Great inspiration for work and business
The Dave Ramsey Show (Fox Business) Excellent ideas on personal finance
Mad Money with Jim Cramer (CNBC) Good investment strategies
Joel Osteen - Inspirational Pastor
Hour of Power with Robert Schuller - Inspirational Pastor
Ed Young - Inspirational Pastor
Larry King Live - Stay up on culture and current events
Dr. Phil - General wisdom for living
The O’Reilly Factor (Fox News) - Political viewpoint with a conservative slant
Hardball (MSNBC) - Political viewpoint with a liberal slant
Fit TV - Cable channel devoted to Health and Fitness Programming
The Learning Channel
The Biography Channel
The History Channel
House and Garden Channel - Inspiration for your dream house
The Food Channel - Inspirations for your inner chef
American Idol - This show is really about people pursuing a dream


Do I watch junk? Very rarely.

I also recommend taking the TV out of your bedroom. It will likely improve your marriage and eliminate a lot of mindless channel surfing and watching just for background noise.

Attitude Shaping and Shifting: Laugh

The study of humor and laughter, and it’s psychological and physiological effects on the human body is called gelotology. Who knew?…. In 1979, writer Norman Cousins wrote about how laughter helped him recover from a serious illness. He took Marx Brothers films and watched them on a daily basis. Since then, numerous studies have tended to support the value of humor in treating everything from colds to cancer. Even the Bible tells us in Proverbs 17:22 “A cheerful heart is good medicine, but a broken spirit saps a person’s strength. "

But it doesn’t take a scientific study to know that laughter changes your mind body state for the better. Increase your time laughing and it’s almost guaranteed that you’ll improve your outlook and attitude. And like any lifestyle, laughter can be cultivated as a habit.

Here are a few suggestions:

1. Hang out with other laughers and people who are fun. Laughter like yawning and lots of other things is contagious.
2. Learn to find the funny side to every day calamities. The fender bender car accident, the hotel toilet paper holder placed just out of reach, and the stubbed toe all can be laughed at, if not immediately, then shortly there after. Most of us, myself included, usually take ourselves way too seriously. There is a huge difference between lumpy oatmeal and a lump in our breast but often we react to them just the same.
3. Collect a few good comedy albums. I don’t think I’m a prude but I suggest staying toward the cleaner end of the comedy spectrum. I won’t argue that some of the other comedians aren’t very funny because some are. I just think that in the long run you’ll be happier and healthier if what you laugh at is clean. I’m not just talking about language and sexuality. Put down humor isn’t a good idea either. I grew up listening to Don Rickles. But like a lot of things, it’s all fun and games until some one gets hurt. The person that listens to put down humor can quickly slip into putting their spouse and kids down to get laughs at their expense. This can do serious damage.

My favorite style of comedy is observational which is what Jerry Seinfeld is so great at. He does a whole thing about cotton balls and how women need thousands and men don’t seem to need any. He sees the funny side of things we all see but don’t really pay attention to. Jay Leno and David Letterman do observational humor often about the news of the day. If you want to get inside the head of some of the comic greats Laugh.com has a whole series of interviews. My favorites are the Seinfeld interview and the Johnny Carson Interview.

To try some fresh comedy you may not have heard, check out albums by Jeff Allen, Michael Jr., Gilbert Esquivel, Brad Stine, Thor Ramsey, Ron McGehee, and Kerri Pomarolli. Their albums are all available on Itunes.

Lastly, start your day in the comic section of the newspaper. Some days it’s one of the few positive things you’ll read there. I recommend clipping and collecting your favorites. I have several hundred collected on the topic of selling alone and sometimes use them to introduce a topic in sales training. My favorites are Frank and Earnest, The Far Side, Herman, Ziggy, Peanuts, Bizzaro, and Dilbert. I also keep my eye out in the Wall Street Journal and various business magazines.

Attitude Shaping and Shifting: Read Great Books

There are a handful of books that have profoundly shaped my perspectives, attitudes, and consequently the course of my life. Without a doubt, Norman Vincent Peale’s “The Power of Positive Thinking” was a huge book for me as was Robert Schuller’s “Move Ahead With Possibility Thinking”. Both were barrowed from my dad. When I read them around age 19 I had never considered the idea that you could improve your life by improving the quality of your thinking. In fact, I believed thoughts just came to me. It never occurred to me to introduce thoughts with intention or that those thoughts could impact my behavior, emotions, energy, or choices. Schools don’t teach this stuff.

A few years later I came across Zig Ziglar’s “See You At The Top”. This introduced me to the power of self-image and goal-setting. Zig also introduced me to power of audio recordings while you drive. I was so changed by his material that I got a job as a marketing rep for his company and went old to sell his books, tapes, and video programs for a year.

In the mid 1990’s I came across a book by Peter Senge, titled “The Fifth Discipline”. It is perhaps the most challenging book I ever read and it probably saved my career several times. In short, The Fifth Discipline is “Systems Thinking” which the book defines as “Seeing Wholes, Interrelationships, and Patterns of Change Rather Than Snap Shots”. It’s sprinkled with examples and principles like, “cause and effect are not closely related in time and space”, “faster is slower”, “small changes can produce big results–but the areas of highest leverage are the least obvious”, “the easy way out leads back in”, “the cure can be worse than the disease”, and “today’s problems come from yesterday’s solutions”. These ideas led me on what became a 15 year journey to effect change in one organization. Without this books influence I would have thrown up my hands, left, and been much poorer for it.

“In Search of Excellence” by Tom Peters and Bob Waterman had a huge influence on me. I have continued to listen and read Tom Peters over the years to great effect. I still go to his web site regularly for fresh inspiration. A lot of the Servant Selling ideas come from Peters because as much as any writer I know he really gets that successful business is really about serving customers and serving the employees who serve customers.

In sales and marketing, Al Ries and Jack Trout’s books have been a big influence. “Positioning: The Battle For Your Mind” and “Differentiate of Die” really taught me about the different ways to positively stand out in a potential customers mind. And Seth Godin’s “Purple Cow” books took the ideas of Ries and Trout and made them catchier and more memorable. Larry Wilson’s “Changing The Game: The New Way To Sell” had a lot of influence on me. “Conceptual Selling” and ‘Strategic Selling” by Robert B. Miller, Stephen E. Heiman, and Tad Tuleja have written the foundation for my Servant Selling philosophy as it applies to how to get face to face and what to do when you get there.

John Maxwell’s books have influenced my thinking on leadership greatly. A favorite is “Leading In 360”. Jim Collin's book "Good to Great" is a work I refer to often. I am a huge fan of the strengths movement. I enthusiastically endorse anything by Marcus Buckingham, especially “Now, Discover Your Strengths”, “Go, Use Your Strengths”, and “The One Thing You Need To Know”. It’s not a book, but his video “Trombone Player Wanted” is a must see. Tom Rath’s “Strength Finder 2.0 is excellent as is Howard Gardner’s ‘Frames of Mind” and Thomas Armstrong’s “Seven Kinds of Smart”. The book by Armstrong is a highly readable simplification of Gardner’s work.

Although I’m a Protestant, I have been hugely influenced by the books of a Jesuit Priest by the name of John Powell. I first received a couple of titles from a Catholic friend and went on to read everything he had published at the time. My favorites were “Unconditional Love” and “Fully Human, Fully Alive”. Francine Rivers book, “Redeeming Love” is my favorite in Christian Fiction.

I don’t read an enormous amount of fiction but I loved J.R.R. Tolkien’s “The Hobbit” and “The Lord of The Rings” trilogy. I’m currently reading the C.S. Lewis Trilogy of “Out Of The Silent Plant”, “Perelandra”, and “That Hideous Strength” out loud at night with my wife. This is Science Fiction/Fantasy and is equally thought provoking and fun reading. My first Sci-Fi book was “Enders Game” by Orson Scott Card. I like the CIA spy stuff that Vince Flynn writes about his hero Mitch Rapp starting with “Separation of Power”. Katherine Neville’s “The Eight” was a fun mystery/adventure.

I don’t think I’m exaggerating when I say I’ve owned over a thousand books in my lifetime. My library is smaller now than in the past but honorable mention should go to hundreds of authors. I feel if you get one good useable idea from a book it was worth the price. Books don’t have to be read cover to cover either. They can be scanned with great value.

Attitude Shaping and Shifting: Movies That Move You

Most of us go to the movies or rent something from Netflix or Blockbuster for sheer entertainment. I’m no exception. There’s nothing wrong with some good old fashion escape. But movies do have the power to induce states of mind and even change behavior.

Movies make us laugh.
Movies make us cry.
Movies make us think.
Movies inspire.
… and some movies are a waste of time or worse. Some even encourage irresponsible behavior. Here’s a list that you may want to consider actually purchasing and watching repeatedly.

The Pursuit of Happyness (A Must See Film For Sales People)
Cinderella Man
Eight Below
Rocky
Rudy
Sister Act
Lord Of The Rings
Bend It Like Beckham
Shrek
The Lion King
Ali
Babe
A Beautiful Mind
A League of Their Own
Braveheart
Chariots of Fire
Conrack
Cool Runnings
Dances With Wolves
Driving Miss Daisy
Mr. Holland’s Opus
Erin Brockovich
Field Of Dreams
Forrest Gump
Free Willy
Gandhi
The Karate Kid
Lean on Me
Malcolm X
Miracle on Ice
Ray
Remember The Titans
Schindler’s List
Seabiscuit
Searching For Bobby Fisher
The Shawshank Redemption
Stand and Deliver
Without Limits
The Patriot
Four Minutes

If you own a video Ipod you can download some of these great movies and watch them while waiting in doctors offices, on the treadmill and other places that make sense throughout the week.

Attitude Shaping and Shifting: Audio Talks and Teaching

Audio recordings have done a tremendous amount to shape and shift the way I think and feel on a daily basis. Over the years I have purchased and listened to literally thousands of hours of teachers and inspirational speakers. I started out in the era of cassette tapes, moved to the compact disc, and am now transitioning to the Ipod.

If you are an outside Servant Sales Person meaning your job is go out get the business vs. waiting for it to walk in the door, chances are this means you spend countless hours in your automobile. If you are in an industry where you have to hear a lot of no’s to find a single yes it can get discouraging. And some of these no’s aren’t nice ones. If this is the case, there is no better antidote to that discouragement than having an inspirational speaker or teacher waiting for you when you get back to the car. They can guide your thinking back onto something productive help keep you knocking on the next door.

Over the years I have listened to a lot of people. Some are sales trainers, business people, pastors, and professional speakers from any number of backgrounds. Many might disagree, offer vastly different perspectives, and even find it odd that they are on a list together with the others. Here are some of my favorites:

Tom Peters
Stephen Covey
Zig Ziglar
Brian Tracy
John Maxwell
Tony Robbins
Joel Osteen
Robert Schuller
Rick Warren
Larry Wilson
Rob Bell
Andy Stanley
Erwin McManus
David Allen
Ken Blanchard
Tom Hopkins
Joyce Meyer
Chuck Missler

You’ll find that you respond to some speakers more than others. Some you will respond to for a season and then you’ll need to move on to someone else. Some you will get tired of and then come back. Some you may never tire of.

Podcasts
One great new option in the last few years if you have Itunes is to down load podcasts. These are regular programs of both an informational and inspirational nature. Some are audio only and some include video. Check it out.

Attitude Shaping and Shifting: Attitunes… What’s On Your IPOD? Part 2

Like I said in yesterday’s post, music is one of the most powerful state of mind and emotion producers in the universe. To harness that power with understanding and intention puts you at great advantage. Sales people are especially subject to attitudinal challenges do to the amount of rejection they often face and music can provide a powerful offset. I have often used some of the recommended selections when I’m cold calling to keep my attitude up.

If you want to learn more about the intricacies of using music, I recommend “Tune Your Brain - Using Music to Manage Your Mind, Body, and Mood” by Elizabeth Miles. She has broken music down into 7 categories according to it’s impact. They include Energy, Relaxation, Focus, Healing, Uplifting, Cleansing, and Creativity.

In the meantime, here are some more of my favorites. I suggest experimenting with these and others you find on your own. Apple’s Itunes has just introduced a great new program called the Genius Sidebar. If you highlight one of the songs you already own, it will pull up similar songs that you may enjoy. This is a great help in building a music library that suits you.

No two people will respond the same way to piece of music. Your response may even change based on arrangement and who the performer is. An example of that is “Take the ‘A’ Train”. Duke Ellington’s Band did a great job popularizing this jazz tune. But when the Lincoln Center Jazz Orchestra did it, they took it to another level. Some of this is taste, but personal preference is huge when your goal is to take charge of your mind/body state.

Contemporary Christian
The Great Adventure - Stephen Curtis Chapman, Emanuel - Amy Grant, El Shaddai - Amy Grant, Indescribable - Chris Tomlin, Mansion Builder - 2nd Chapter of Acts
Praise and Worship
People Just Like Us - Hillsong, All The Power You Need, Hillsong,
Hear Our Praises - Hillsong, Church on Fire - Hillsong, Shout To The Lord - Hillsong,
You Are Good - Israel Houghton, Cover The Earth - Lakewood, You Are My King (Amazing Love) - Newsboys, He Reigns - Newsboys, Blessed Be Your Name - Tree 63,
We Will Glorify - Twila Paris, He Is Exalted - Twila Paris
Jazz Without Lyrics
Take Five - The Dave Brubeck Quartet, Drum Boogie - George Krupa and His Orchestra,
In The Mood - Glenn Miller and His Orchestra, Green Onions - James Taylor Quartet,
My Favorite Things - John Coltrane, So What - Miles Davis, Well, Git It - Tommy Dorsey and His Orchestra, Take The “A” Train - Lincoln Center Jazz Orchestra
Contemporary Instrumental
Silhouette - Kenny G, Songbird - Kenny G, Pastel - Kenny G,
Small Town Girl - Larry Carlton, Smiles and Smiles To Go - Larry Carlton,
Minute by Minute - Larry Carlton, Bubble Shuffle - Larry Carlton, Tequila - Larry Carlton,
Stiletto Heels - Richard Elliot, On The Town - Richard Elliot,
In Your Face - Richard Elliot, Over The Rainbow - Richard Elliot,
Pipo’s Song - Spyro Gyra
Electronica
Push The Limits - Enigma, Battle Without Honor or Humanity - Tomoyasu Hotel
Classical
Eine Kline Nachtmusik - Mozart, Sunrise - Strauss, 1812 Overture - Tchaikovsky,
Ride of the Valkyrues - Wagner, Hallelujah - Handel, Symphony #5 - Beethoven,
William Tell Overture - Rossini,

Attitude Shaping and Shifting: Attitunes… What’s On Your IPOD?

I can beat a song that will make dead men’s hearts rise to be strong and go into battle and win.

Napoleon’s drummer at Waterloo

What music can do is to sneak inside of us and inspire us and ignoble our spirit to triumph over any obstacle, adversity, disaster or dismay that may defeat us.

Jack Canfield, Co-author, Chicken Soup For The Soul


Music may be the most powerful shaper of mind set and resulting emotions we have access to. Unfortunately few of us really take charge of this tool and use it to it’s full potential. Many of us allow the local disc jockey or some greedy record producer to decide what music you fill your life with. Many times it’s influenced heavily by who you hang out with.

You need to pay attention to lyrics specifically. Beyond that, play stuff that consistently leaves you feeling good and encourages you to be a better person. If you are a person of faith you have more options than ever before. I love both secular and sacred music of all kinds. My favorite is classic rock, but I listen to Contemporary Christian, Jazz, R&B, Show Tunes, Reggae, some Country, Alternative, World, and even some Hip Hop occasionally. You can find at least some inspirational music in nearly every genre. Here are some on my IPOD:

Classic Rock
Dream On - Aerosmith, Bounce - Bon Jovi, Roll With It - Steve Winwood,
Never Surrender - Corey Hart, Bright Side of the Road - Van Morrison,
Your Only Human - Billy Joel, Don’t Stop Believin’ - Journey, Don’t Stop - Fleetwood Mac,
While You See A Chance - Steve Winwood, Give To Live - Sammy Hagar,
Lucky Day - Meridith Brooks, Shine - Meridith Brooks,
Make Your Own Kind Of Music - Mama Cass Elliot, Don’t Let The Good Life Pass You By - Mama Cass, Always Look On The Bright Side - Art Garfunkel, Beautiful - Carole King,
Simple Things - Carole King, Make It Big - The Beach Boys,
Take The Weather With You - Jimmy Buffet, Breath In Breath Out Move On - Jimmy Buffet, Don’t Give Up - Peter Gabriel, Things Can Only Get Better - Howard Jones
Alternative
Beautiful Day - U2, Holiday In My Head - Smash Mouth, All Star - Smash Mouth,
Greatest Day - Bowling For Soup, If Everyone Cared - Nickelback,
The Future's So Bright - Timbuk 3, Hallelujah - Jeff Buckley
R&B
You Gotta Be - Des’ree, Uptight (Everything’s Alright) - Stevie Wonder,
Ain’t No Stoppin Us Now - McFadden & Whitehead, Dream Big - Sakai, Leap of Faith - Sakai
Pop
Beautiful - Christina Aguilar, You Get What You Give - New Radicals, New Attitude - Patti Labelle, When You’ve Been Blessed - Patti Labelle, The Power of The Dream - Celine Dion,
When The Going Gets Tough - Billy Ocean, One Moment In Time - Whitney Houston,
Reach - Gloria Estefan, Always Tomorrow - Gloria Estefan,
Coming Out Of The Dark - Gloria Estefan, Get On Your Feet - Gloria Estefan,
Make It Happen - Mariah Carey, Hero - Mariah Carey
Raggae
Three Little Birds - Bob Marley
Rap/Hip Hop
Dream Big - Jet Baker, Champion - Queen Latifah, Pray - MC Hammer,
Too Legit To Quit - MC Hammer, No Stoppin' Us - MC Hammer
Country
Up - Shania Twain, I Could Not Ask For More - Sara Evans, Born To Fly - Sarah Evans,
Blessed - Martina McBride, The Impossible - Joe Nichols, My Life’s Been Grand - George Strait,
Live Like You Were Dying - Tim McGraw, My List - Toby Keith,
It’s A Great Day To Be Alive - Travis Tritt
Blues
When Love Comes To Town - Jonny Lang and Joss Stone, Anything’s Possible - Jonny Lang,
Turn Around - Jonny Lang
World
Somewhere Over The Rainbow/What A Wonderful World - Israel Kamakawlwo’ole
Easy Listening/Jazz
High Hopes - Frank Sinatra, Come Blow Your Horn - Frank Sinatra, Pocketful of Miracles - Frank Sinatra, Pick Yourself Up - Natalie Cole, When Your Smiling - Frank Sinatra, Wonderful World - Louis Armstrong

Lyrically this is some of the strongest music you can find. In the next post I’ll share some of my favorites from Contemporary Christian Music as well as some of my favorite non-lyrical music.

Attitude Shaping and Shifting: Asking Questions Move Your Perspective

Another way to shift and shape your own attitude is to regularly ask yourself good questions. This strategy has been used by a number of successful people as far ranging as motivational speaker Tony Robbins and Ben Franklin.

In his book, “Awaken The Giant Within” Robbins suggests some questions that are designed to move people into states of happiness, excitement, pride, gratitude, joy, commitment and love. He believes that quality questions create a quality life. Here are a few he recommends:

MORNING POWER QUESTIONS
What am I happy about in my life now?What about that makes me happy? How does that make me feel?
What am I excited about in my life now?What about that makes me excited? How does that make me feel?
What am I proud about in my life now? What about that makes me proud? How does that make me feel?
What am I grateful about in my life now? What about that makes me grateful? How does that make me feel?
What am I enjoying in my life right now?What about that do I enjoy? How does that make me feel?
What am I committed to in my life right now?What about that makes me committed? How does that make me feel?
Who do I love? Who loves me?What about that makes me loving? How does that make me feel?

EVENING POWER QUESTIONS
What have I given today?In what ways have I been a giver today?
What did I learn today?
How has today added to the quality of my life or how can I use today as an investment in my future?

THE PROBLEM SOLVING QUESTIONS
What is great about this problem?
What is not perfect yet?
What am I willing to do to make it the way I want it?
What am I willing to stop doing in order to make it the way I want it?
How can I enjoy the process while I do what is necessary to make it the way I want it?
If you struggle with a question, simply add the word “could”. Example: “What could I be most happy about in my life now?”

Benjamin Franklin kept his life in constant evaluation by asking himself two questions every day of his adult life. In the morning he would ask, "What good shall I do today?" This was followed up by his evening question. "What good have I done today?"

As a Servant Salesperson you might ask yourself each morning, “Who and how will I serve people today?” In the evening you might ask, “Who and how did I serve today?”
Consider journaling answers to one of these questions each day. Notice which questions place you in the most productive state of mind.

Attitude Shaping and Shifting: Association... People and Perspective

Who do you hang with? The people you spend time with shape your attitudes and perspectives powerfully. If you want to be a Servant Sales Person, find and spend time with other Servant Sales People. It’s incredibly difficult… in fact, nearly impossible to rise much above the level of your companions.

A handful of times in my life I have essentially stopped spending time with people who weren’t going where I wanted to go. If you are in California and on a bus with a bunch of folks who want to go to Alabama, it’s not going to matter how much you wanted to get to Pennsylvania. In a few cases you might talk a few passengers into getting on another bus headed for Pennsylvania and going with you. But chances are most everyone who started out committed to Alabama will end up there. If you want to change destinations, change buses.

Find a group of people who are going where you want to go. Find a group who are already committed to great service in your profession. Seek them out. Cultivate their companionship. Learn from them. Make a contribution to their life and they will seek you out. Then watch the relationships shape your attitude, mind set, and thought processes. You will feed off each other and spiral up.

Don’t assume this message is just for teenagers struggling with peer pressure around choices they make with regard to their involvement in drugs and sex. It’s for everyone. A few months ago a series of articles appeared in the newspapers on recent studies that concluded that adults who hung out with people who over eat and get fat tend to over eat and get fat. If you want to get skinny, get some skinny friends. I don’t mean to be harsh here. I have to be very careful with my diet and exercise because I gain weight easily. I’m just saying if your best friends exercise for an hour, 5x per week you are more likely to do the same. If your friends split dinner with their spouse or order salads and smaller portions, you probably will to.

This is true with nearly every area of your life. If you want healthy attitudes and habits around money or marriage, finance or family; get around people who are good with these things. It’s not much harder than catching a cold.

Attitude Shaping and Shifting: "How Are You?" Part 2

Pat Croce is right. My friend Joel Hedland, who is an associate pastor at my church has a buddy from Phoenix who was riding a motorcycle up in the Denver area a couple of weeks before I am writing this. He hit a road hazard that sent him flying off his bike head on into a semi truck or tractor trailer rig. The first one to reach him was a women who brought a blanket to throw over the body, assuming he was dead. When she got to the body and started to cover it up, she heard this voice, “Hey lady, I’m still alive.” A doctor was second on the scene and immediately called for a helicopter to airlift to the hospital. He had to have a leg amputated, but miraculously he is back to work as a supervisor for a landscape company only two weeks after the accident. According to Joel, his friend has not lived the most religious life in the world but while re-counting his memory of the incident, he clearly remembers flying through the air and experiencing a presence that told him, “I’m protecting you.” He also said, “Hey Joel, don’t feel sorry for me, I’m doing great.”

So how do you normally answer the most common of all questions? Over the years I have collected positive responses to the question, “How are you?” or “How are you doing?” Here are some in my collection. Many are from famous or semi-famous people.

Awesome
Blessed
Better than I deserve (Financial Guru Dave Ramsey on his call in radio program)
Celebrating another day in paradise
Double thumps up
Excellent
Fantastic (Actor and California Governor Arnold Schwarzenegger
Great (Pat Croce)
Happy to be alive
I'm so happy I could eat a banana sideways (Speaker, Zig Ziglar)
Incredible
Just like I’m going through a swing door on someone else’s push (Speaker, Zig Ziglar)
Life is good
Magical
On top of the world
Outstanding
Phenomenal
Spectacular
Super
Super good, but I’ll get better (Speaker, Zig Ziglar)
Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious
Terrific
Thumbs up
Unbelievable (Sales Trainer Tom Hopkins… says this answer cover it either way… bad day/good day
Victorious
Wonderful
Xtra-Good
Yes (Usually with a fist pump)

In the movie When Harry Met Sally, Meg Ryan’s character Sally Abright is sitting across a deli table from Billy Crystal’s character Harry Burns. After a long drawn out, now famous theatrical portrayal of “excitement”, an older woman at the next table tells her waiter, “I’ll have what she’s having”. Why don’t we all lead lives that encourage others to want what were having? It can start with our response to the simple question, “How are you?”

Attitude Shaping and Shifting: Answering… “How Are You?”

Of all the questions in the world, there is probably not a question asked more frequently than, “How are you?” or some variation of it. Your answer to that frequent question does a lot to set your attitude in place for that moment, maybe even the rest of the day. There is a place in life for an authentic negative response. A visit with a therapist, an occasional conversation with a close friend about perplexing dilemma or problem come to mind. You might even tone down your answer when responding to someone who you know is struggling with some weighty issue or grieving. The book of Proverbs tells us in chapter 25 and verse 20 “Singing cheerful songs to a person with a heavy heart is like taking someone’s coat in cold weather or pouring vinegar in a wound. Romans 12:15 echoes the same sentiment when it says, “Rejoice with those who rejoice and weep with those who weep”.

After having said that, positive responses will do more to help shape your attitude and emotional state. They will generally also make you a more enjoyable and attractive person to be around. In his wonderful book, 110% - 110 Strategies for Feeling Great Every Day, Pat Croce starts off the Introduction with this:

So, how are you?
These are the standard replies:
“Not bad.”
“Okay.”
“Pretty Good.”
“Hangin’ in.”
“Hangin’ on”
“Fine.”

Just once, try this instead: “I feel great!” Say it with gusto, with conviction, with
wattage.

And then watch the other person recoil. The reaction will be somewhere
between disbelief and envy…

And, yes, I know exactly what you’re thinking: “Oh, please. It is not possible
for anyone to feel great, to be in such an effervescent mood all the time.

Well, of course it’s not.

But in the bleak moments, there are thoughts you can summon to help
overcome depression, pain, sorrow, and negativity. Because for the most part
we—and not our circumstances—determine the way we feel.

Attitude Shaping and Shifting: Learn To Move Your Mind

Learn to move your mind from unproductive mindsets and attitudes to constructive ones. If you drove into a neighborhood with run down houses and un-kept yards, you could drive to another one. In fact you could drive to the nicest neighborhood in town. You could get out and take a long walk. I’ve actually done this.

You need to learn to move in your mind. Think about the nicest place you’ve ever been. My wife and I just got back from exploring some of the most beautiful beaches in the world. I can choose to return there in my imagination every day if I want to.

To leave a negative place and enter a positive one it’s sometimes helpful to find a neutral one to make the transition. You can do this simply by paying attention to your breath. Inhale slowly and pay attention to your chest rising. Exhale and notice it go down. Repeat this for 10 breath cycles. Then take charge with one of the strategies suggested in the posts listed over the next few days.

Attitude Shaping and Shifting: Atmosphere-Creating The Environment

One of the most powerful ways of shaping and maintaining powerful perspectives and mindsets is to take control of your environment. We shape our environments and then our environments shape us. If your home, office, or automobile is dirty, dingy, or in a state of chaos you will find it difficult in deed to shape and maintain powerful attitudes. I know from experience, when I am surrounded by clutter, my frustration level multiplies. I tend to save stuff so I have to guard against this constantly.

Consider the following elements of the environment in which you work and live. What impact are they having? Sometimes even small changes can have big attitudinal payoffs. You may not be able to make everything perfect but over time develop a consistent commitment to the ideal. Keep improving everything and eventually you will have something you love that elevates your thought life and boosts your spirits.

Consider…

Positive Energy
Arrangement
Order
Cleanliness
Light
Color
View
Privacy
Nature
Fresh Air
Scent
Favorite Objects
Seat Comfort
Beauty
Art
Pictures and Portraits

Also consider change. When predictability goes up… impact goes down.

If you share space with a spouse, children, or co-workers you may have to negotiate and compromise. You will want to find out what kind of environment inspires them and begin taking measures to create that as well. But begin taking charge of your environment in small ways each day and notice the difference.

Make sure you include your customer in your thoughts. What elements will allow you to better serve them? What will likely lift their spirits? If you take care of creating an uplifting environment for them, they will in turn take care of you.