The pictographic languages have some advantage on those that use letters to represent a sound. A great example is the Chinese character for listening. Built into the pictographic word are smaller representations or pictures of the components inherent in doing this activity well. The character itself is almost a mini workshop on the meaning of the word.
Good listening is hard work. It may be especially hard for salespeople because they are often hired for their ability to talk instead of their ability to communicate. Don’t run by that last sentence too fast. At best, talking is only half of communicating and generally not the most important half.
What makes for great listening? It’s more than just not talking although that’s a great start.
Attention - One component of great listening is attention. I like the phrase “rapt” attention. My Microsoft Encarta College Dictionary defines rapt as follows: Completely Engrossed involved in, fascinated by, or concentrating on something to the exclusion of everything else. Inclusive in the Chinese character is undivided attention.
Accepting - Another component is accepting. Because as sales people, we often hallucinate that our job in front of a customer is to convince them regardless of need or desire, we are not always very accepting of what they say. Listening is NOT just waiting for your turn to talk. Our job is to find a wonderful fit that serves the customer, if one in fact exists. Part of this is listening and accepting it when a customer tells you there is no fit. This allows you to move on together in search of another approach that may be the perfect fit.
Affirming - Affirming moves beyond accepting. It is not necessarily agreeing but more like agreeing that the customer has a valid view point that they have every right to have. Affirming is respecting. It is holding the customer and their view point in high esteem even when it differs from your own.
Active - Great listening is always active and interactive. It involves eye contact, posture, body language, and more. It involves nods and short verbal expressions that communicate you are picking up what they are laying down. Or conversely, it may involve probing when you are not getting it. Great listening involves asking great follow up questions and drilling down.
Listening is a skill that can be developed. But it also must be continually cultivated with focused intention. I consider myself a very good listener but I’m only as good as my last conversation. I’m not always good. With the addition of a Blackberry to my technological repertoire I sometimes find it difficult to as the song says, “Love The One You’re With”. I’m learning to shut the Blackberry off at critical moments so I can be fully present with a customer, family member, or significant other. The conundrum is that Blackberry’s and cell phones allow us to be accessible to the people we love almost 24/7. And accessibility is an important part of love. Those that I love the most, I give the most access. When mom calls I pick up the phone. When a close friend calls I drop everything and answer. But wisdom says that sometimes I have to shut off the access to be fully present with the one that sits in front of me.
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